Manic-depression

 

    We all know that there are people with manic-depression and I don't judge, I'm just sharing mine.

Today is a bad day, I'm not going to lie.

It's one these days that I really wish I wasn't alive.

Today is a bad day, but for some reason I just can't cry.

I'm trying hard to just get through today with my MD pushing me into what I call "the hole" which is nothing literally a hole of my brain shoving everything deep down under as a emotional protection. I don't know where it cam from to be honest. I am not even sure what it is about. I just know I feel numb, meaning no emotions going through my head. Sometimes I feel a bit of fear when I go into this mode cause it leads to me wanting to hurt myself to actually feel something. But today is different. Today I don't feel a single thing. I don't want to hurt myself but I want to vanish. Like poof I'm gone, and even that does not really click. It's kind of like I am flooting out of my body but not at the same time. 

Thanks for reading

Brittany