Over the years I have been dealing with a lot. From having a kiddo, to having cancer, to fighting cancer for 3 and 1/2 of years, to now having a different life from what it have originally given me. Over the past 10 years I have had more happiness than ever before. That said I still have my regular yearly bites. This is the major time of the year where the bites are really hard. This year has been harder than others, the flashbacks have been strangling me emotionally. With strong fluctuations from happy to furious to self hatred and more, with fast switching from one to the other.
I know that compressing it and not letting it out is no good for me, but I am feeling more and more like sharing it is just a huge burden for the others in my life. I know the people around me can acknowledge the problem but I still just feel so isolated with the problem. I have been working on it for a long time but it seems like this year it’s just wanting to tear its way through me.
I know my emotional issues are hard to understand but it would be nice for someone to be in my shoes for a bit. That said I know it’s not possible
